11.19.2003

Realised I have many unanswered questions...and I've found that the reason why I hate reading other people's blogs is because it burns up the angst in me to see them so happy... I hate it that they're better off than me. I'm so jealous of all those happy people... I'm beginning to hate them. Hate them for everything. Hate them for having what I don't. Hate them for flaunting their happiness. Hate them for being so happy.
I hate myself for being such a mindless bitch...
I hate myself for being so self-centered....
What the fuck does everyone have against me?
Why is it that some people can be so happy when I've never experienced the feeling of joy?
How did my life become so bloody screwed up?
Who the hell understands me?
When will I get to truly understand the meaning of happiness?

Too many questions, too little time...
I'll never get my answers... it's too late... too late for everything to resume to its normal state.
I'm a selfish girl, what i can't have, you can't have too...
If I'm upset, I want you to feel twice as bad...
If I'm happy, all the happiness belongs to me...
If you're having a good time, you share it with me...
I'll never give you more than I'll take...
That seems to be the only way out...
Its the only thing which will save me from this huge arena of predators.....
I'm so tired... too tired to even care anymore...

I'm sinking in.... deeper & deeper... soon I'll be lost beneath this facade I've let myself slip into... I'll never be myself again...never....

Leave me alone, KEEP CLEAR OF ME

^jac
00:57

-^jac - choir - pink - green - prissy - piglet - one voice - lollies - shopping queen - mars - freedom -


Crap your way through!





` Things to Do!

*Sleeeep
*Wits(oh man...)
*Get pudgie a bigger home!
*Give Dora her long-awaited treat
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