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9.25.2004

ehehez... finally got the song I wanted. Couldn't find it on iweb... chanced upon a webbie with the song while I was looking for the lyrics. YAY! It's the song sylvester sang on the wildcard... I lurrve it to teeny bits!! It's on repeat on my player...been so since last week. ahhh... I'm infatuated.

Went to borders today..checked out on the books... found a whole load that I wanna buy. For starters...I'm embarressed to admit that I've not even read the da vinci code yet. It's a must-read!!! Ate at swensens till I felt like a pig...

main course and a dessert = bloated. It was a brownie fudge sundae that was real gooood...but made me feel guilty too. I'm supposed to be cutting it down on the calories. Oh well... I've got a low threshold of tolerance....

I see forever when I look into your eyes

You're all I ever wanted,

I always want you to be mine

Let's make a promise till the end of time

We'll always be together,

and our love will never die

So here we are face to face and heart to heart

I want you to know we will never be apart

Now I believe that wishes can come true

'Cause I see my whole world, I see only you

When I look into your eyes

I can see how much I love you, and it makes me realize

When I look into your eyes

I see all my dreams come true

When I look into your eyes

I've looked for you all of my life

Now that I've found you, we will never say goodbye

I can't stop this feeling, there's nothing I can do

'Cause I see everything, when I look at you

ahhh...pure bliss...

^jac
04:18

9.24.2004

Had both paper 1s today... my finger's swelling just like little lumpie over my shoulder...seems to have taken a permanent spot on my collarbone. Well...it was the usual...everything sucked. I overwrote for english....wrote too little for chinese... what's new!?

Been trying to force myself to study... but all that I've tried doesn't seem to be working. Feeling tired again. I want my mini cheezels.

^jac
00:18

9.21.2004

Finally got over the oral today...even though I totally screwed it up. It's all right...it really is... I don't care at all. I'm just totally fine with the fact that I just pulled down my english grade.

I'm a failure at consoling myself. Studying for ting xie now... can't seem to digest all the strokes and characters... nothing's going in. Today was pretty relaxing actually... besides those times I spent worrying for the darned oral. gina had a really bad fall... I was queasy at the sight of blood... imagine me being a doctor. Now we both have things to threaten each other with. " You touch my lump I whack your knee...!!!" hahax.... I'm sure we're both civilised people.

Life's a bitch...

^jac
01:48

9.20.2004

The lump hurts like heel now. The ball slammed off my back during PE today... had to control my self.... like " 1... 2... 3... breathe.... it-does-not-hurt....OWWWW!"

I'm beginning to refer to it as if it were a living thing... "It's feeling better today..." "It's gotten larger again..." oh well...at least I don't think I'll miss it once it's gone.

Yeap... I'm in a terrible state...then got whacked on the earlobes once again by the darned ball... turned purple not long after. Ball-throwing should be banned. Trying to do some studying... but how is studying possible when I'm in front of the com!? Yeah ... sure...blogging and memorising bio...that really goes. gina tried to talk me into getting rid of the lumpie permanently at a earlier date...ehehz... I'm so not looking forward to it. Especially since the doc looks like he's always half-asleep...what if he doesn't wake up while he's slicing my shoulder!? Sad...

Hurting everywhere...

^jac
00:06

9.17.2004

I need a pillow to scream in.
I really need one. I'm suffering from insomnia.... really a serious lack of sleep. It's amazing how I actually managed to keep awake and alive for the entire day of school. I amze myself at times. Stayed up the night till even the roaches and crickets in the garden were fast asleep. Studying should be a crime. I actually held my resistence long enough till Idol was over. But I couldn't hold it till the results show.

Sylvester's IN!!!!!!!!! He's my choice too!!! ehehz...and it helps that I lurrrve maia....Beverly doesn't exist for a much as I care. Hate her. To shredded bits and pieces.

That pretty much gave me the drive and determination to carry on. The twinkies and juice too. Food always works for me.

The lil lumpie's about 0.5cm larger than before. Feel like whacking it down with my humongous dictionary.

^jac
00:39

9.14.2004

Tried telling myself that it'll be all right... I feel like crying once more. Wondering if it'll be over before I know it. I need my space.

I just came back from the doctors ... checked out about the bruise/lump on my shoulder. Thought it was merely a swell... but the doc said that it was a small cyst growing. I've got some tablets and cream for it...but if that fails... he's got to have to cut it open and take it out 'cuz it's gonna grow.

here's what he said...

" Oh nothing much actually... I'll just have to cut it open and take the cyst out... not problem at all. " NO PROBLEM!??! You want me to slice your shoulder mister?!

I'm praying real hard that the medicine will work a miracle 'cuz I'm reaallly reeeaaallly scared.

You guys...pray hard along with me!!!

I'm scared.

^jac
02:27

9.09.2004

The Singapore Idol results sucked. The Jerry [Iam constipated and my voice sucks but I'm still acting like a big star ] Ong is definitely out of my list of favs. Looks like good old Ben Eio's not gonna be able to make it though... *bigfatsigh*

Went for a run in the morning...then wasted it all by stuffing my face with MaCs...I'm always doing this to myself. Feeling extremely drowsy now... only slpet for a few measly hours when I need more than 12 to stay alive.

Oh yes...these are the lyrics to the song playing now...ehehz...had it on repeat in my player for the whole of last night. It's really the sweetest words ever...

"She Will Be Loved"

Beauty queen of only eighteen

She had some trouble with herself

He was always there to help her

She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles

And wound up at your door

I've had you so many times but somehow

I want more

I don't mind spending everyday

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved

She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door

I want to make you feel beautiful I know

I tend to get so insecure

It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies

It's compromise that moves us along

My heart is full and my door's always open

You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved

She will be loved

I know where you hide

Alone in your car

Know all of the things that make you who you are

I know that goodbye means nothing at all

Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door

I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

^jac
21:05

9.08.2004

My back's creaking once more...feel like such a old hag. Waitaminute... I am one.

Haven't done a single bit of homework... even though I expected things to turn out this way... it still aches to see myself being so slack. Oh whatever... it's not the first time anyway. Neeeeed to get some work done.... I love the song now. Been screeching it on the way to the shower and in it. " Shhheeeee'llll be looooVed!"

I'm missing my good old gis now. They're having looong hols over there... me wanna go back right now. nownownow! I'm training to be more pragmatic.... but it seems I've got lots to work on. Feel like cutting all my hair off now that it's always so hot and humid. But itf everyone in sunny island s'pore thought like me, we'd probably all be bald. Just like the dad on Who wants to marry my dad? nadanada....bet I could see my own reflection in his shiny scalp.

^jac
03:41

9.05.2004

greeaat! all's well again. Now I can make it known that I'm still alive and kicking... hard. ehehez... oh well. Been spending my time rushing d&t... it's not fun at all- trust me. Haven't really had the time to reflect on all that's happened... What I can remember?
My CA results which sucked.
CIP?
ack...I've got a bad memory.

Gotta spend my holz wisely I guess...that's a standard line i say to myself at the start of every holiday. Whether I adhere to it or not...that's a completely different story. Keep feeling like I'm about to fall asleep any moment...this is just not right. Considering that I slept for 14 straight hours...I'm supposed to be bursting with energy.
Lord save me....

^jac
06:22

9.01.2004

^jac
02:48