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10.31.2004

It's really great that I get terribly ill just as the hols start. Geez... no matter how many times I prayed for a day off school during the term I just didn't get it. Now it's come and made such a great start to my holiday. URGH! Ah well, got 2 days of MC for my fever, 38.5... that has got to be my personal record, cough, flu, baaaad throat. Good thing though, I don't want to humiliate myself further in choir, sounding like a chicken with bird flu.

The sad thing was, went to see a doc just before going to school, so I was all dressed in my uniform. The nice doctor gave me a 2 days mc, so went into school to tell qing to tell taybk for me. They must've thought that I was insane, putting on my uniform and going to school just to tell her that. Oh well, there's never a day where I'm normal anyway.

Going back to snooze now, the medicine's making me all drowsy.

^jac
21:29

10.29.2004

It's official. Starting next year, I'd be a roaming loner trapped in the midst of over-achievers. How I'd live through it, I have no idea. Oh well...let's just say I wasn't as happy as I should've been. Urgh. Now I have practically no one. It's all right. REALLY.

Felt so helpless the entire day, dead and afraid. But the results didn't really come out as such a shock 'cuz of a naughty thing that some pple happened to do. I didn't think I'd get so emotional though, held on tight when hugging the rest... didn't want to let go at all. All hell broke loose when qing first started crying. Then poke... was consoling qing when I started crying myself. Two weeping souls together = many more sobbing a2ians. Guess I'm not so hard after all? Yeah, known that since pretty long ago, just hoped that I would've actually been able to keep the tears in. Too bad. I need another shoulder to cry on now. The more I think about it, the more deadly it all seems.

I'll miss you guys!!!

^jac
05:04

10.26.2004

Jeez... I should have just continued on with my time in dreamland a.k.a snoozesville when lao shi came into class. She just totally dashed all my hopes, no matter how small, of getting my option. Sometimes it's best to shut my ears. She screwed up so many of us... poor qing too. Argh! Was waiting for choir to start, spent the time talking to each other, consoling each other. I don't want to be alone at all. It's pretty bad that that's my priority huh? Oh well, it's a known fact that I'm anti-social and it takes me long enough to warm up to people. Now it starts again. The only highlight of the day was that choir was actually cancelled... yayness... felt so tired, short of energy, would probably have been screwed for going off/croaking/singing the wrong song (it has happened!)

I've got lotsa thinking to do...

^jac
01:04

10.25.2004

Just took a quiz... What Season Are You
ehehez... here it is!

You're a Winter. You very much enjoy your time alone but do like other people's company sometimes. You just need your space. You have a few priviledged friends who saw past your colder exterior to find the true you. You can have pretty bad mood swings (though you hate to admit it) so you could be soft one second then storming around the next! But over all, you're a very pleasant person once people take the time to get to know you. You're a good friend for in-depth talks. You're very talanted when it comes to creative things.

^jac
04:45

10.24.2004

Mega camp's finally over. Seems like eons ago since I last stepped into a clean shower or laid on my comfy bed. All right... I'm exaggerating... two nights. That was it. My current state... sunbunrt a.k.a lobster's closest kin... aches in every part imaginable on my body... and I'm dead beat. I'm still wondering why I'm bothering to blog. Well... besides the times when I was embarressed to the core about my clumsiness... the camp wasn't all that bad. At least not as horrible as I imagined it would be.

Right now, all I know is that I'm freshly showered, and I don't smell like stale and wet socks anymore, and I'm the happiest person around. Yes.

^jac
03:59

10.19.2004

Feel like sticking my head into a bush and never come out again. I guess I should've pretty much expected everything... results were the pits. It's really tiring how I have to go to two extremes in the span of a week. Don't think I can take it for much longer.

Guess I didn't manage to control it for long though, felt like screaming out at everyone of them who kept telling me that I did good when I obviously didn't, and I'm utterly disappointed and pissed with myself. Kept it all in though... and now I feel bad for thinking that way since they all meant what they said... or at least meant well.

I'm tired of all the shit in my life...

^jac
05:07

10.18.2004

It's finally over and done with. After all those pracs and off-key moments... I sound like an old woman reminiscing about happening...

Oh well... we came in third place... didn't feel anything though. Not too happy, but just a teeny tinge of disappointment? Let's just call it indifference. At least we didn't suck... I hope. Thought they were all very cute and sweet though...all the cheering and the banner!!! ahahaz...

We're getting out results back tomorrow... I'll just blog all I can today... in case I faint from embarressment/grief/shock tomorrow. I'm not expecting much of myself though... just praying I don't do too badly? Yep... I'll just be thankful if I'm not in last position..... if I am... I'd probably have to dig a real deeeeep hole to hide in!

Urgh... I don't wanna think about it.

^jac
00:57

10.17.2004

Been having consecutive pracs... really wiped me out man... Singing myself hoarse, croaking to reach the high notes, trying to sound like a shrieking s.h.e member.... I'm beat!

Practice today felt awkward for me... have no idea why. Just didn't feel like singing at all... kept getting pissed off... ah well... I'm beginning to understand why people have mood swings.

Lack of sleep
Unecessary burdens
Anxiety

I'm so not looking forward to performing at all.

Gimme a break...

^jac
01:49

10.15.2004

Jerry's finally out, but I actually feel sorry for the guy. He's real strong to be able to take all the critisism... ahh... but that doesn't mean I think he's an idol.

Met ms.lau today, wasn't a good time for us. Project screwed up big time and got me in a real bitchy mode. ehehez...I think I really let it out on everyone... SORRY!!! Then went shopping with my mum... went to tampines mall...haven't been there in ages... it's a good break from orchard really. Went to mj, sembawang and various other music stores hunting for the karaoke vcd for Superstar for our singing. Gosh...the shop assistants must have all thought that I was some outdated old ahma crazy over S.H.E...*sigh..the sacrifices I make... That wasn't the end though. Had a hard time walking all about Tampines... all those little shops and all. But I still couldn't find it in the end. My poor mother had to follow me back to kovan in an hours bus ride. Went to heartland's mj and almost peng-ed when they didn't have it. Went to TS and found that they had oodles of it. Jeeeeez
Good thing my mother had the mind to call TS before that to check if they had it

Tired tired tired.

^jac
05:56

10.14.2004

Founder's day was today... didn't feel anything much though... just sang and tried to look as if I was enjoying it. But it wasn't all that bad, at least we didn't humiliate ourselves...I think.

Oh well, after that had a couple of meetings...then went home to watch Zhan Shen, my latest craze. Jerry's singing on the tee vee beside me now. He's horrible. Really. We practiced pretty hard today, they came over and we sang till we were hoarse, I'd say we did pretty well lah... better than we had hoped. We wanna gain some glory for a2...hahax... just hope that I don't get stage fright. Shall praaay really hard.

Oh yeah, I'm not really free yet, there's still IP meeting tomorrow... I've got a question. WHY DOES ANYONE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT OUR PROJECT!? I know I don't want to present it.

Leeaaave meeee aloooneee..........

I was supposed to go shopping and let all the steam out tomorrow... well, guess I've got to wait till I get it over and done with. Urgh. Urgh. Urgh.

^jac
03:26

10.13.2004

I'M FREEEEE!!!

ahahahahaz.... words to describe how I'm feeling??

ecstatic? elated? liberated? relieved? ..yep... all that! Wow...all that studying for lit paid off.. character traits... *sigh

Let's not talk about the paper today..that'll only ruin my mood really. AHHHHH!!! That's what I forgot to do after the art paper today. But I really hollered my lungs out at choir today... till I went off pitch and annoyed some people... pai sei

ehehez... oh yes...we've still gotta practice for the ****** chinese... like qing said, we're gonna enjoy the process of preparing for it - not the thing itself. I'm not exactly lunging at the opportunity to perform. Downloading songs and packing my player full so we'll have more choices tomorrow. *sigh, still gotta get my ass to sch earlier tomorrow for rehearsal? It's all right lah... the only problem is that I look like a duck waddling in my heels... perhaps I should start practicing to prevent any embarrassment...

I'm gonna catch up on much needed sleep now... I don't want to doze off while singing tomorrow.
night!

^jac
05:16

10.08.2004

ehehez.... I've got sly's video on my bloggie!!! ahahaz... happy happy happy...all thanx to my smartie sis. Love the song... he doesn't seem to do better than this... but anyhow, I still love his voice... ahahaz... all righty... gonna do my art now!

Oh yeah... DAVID YEO'S OUT! couldn't stand the way he looked so cocky before the results were out. Don't like him no more!

^jac
06:43

10.07.2004

Life couldn't suck more. Let's see....

I screwed up my lit... wrote an entire page for the essay then decided to do the other question instead, so I wasted enough time to leave myself rushing and writing a whole load of crap. greeeaat. Feel like crap too.

Maths... let's just not talk about it.

Science... try cramming a whole load of bio into your brain and not studying too much of chem. Sit for the damned paper ... and find that there really wasn't any need to study bio at all.

Let me bang my head against the wall.

Too bad it's still not all over yet... there's still geog... chinese...dreaded d&t, art. I'm not gonna live through this.

^jac
20:47

10.04.2004

Talk about being a bitch. I'm annoyed. Don't even talk to me about studying. I give up!!!!!!! Read something not quite to my tastes... oh well. I'll just take it that she's got nothing better to do with her time? Either that or start imagining myself stuffing a green pepper into her mouth.

Hmm... sounds good.

Exam stress is getting to everyone. No one seems to be thinking straight anymore....perhaps it's just me. Everything seems blur and flying nowadays. *sigh*

^jac
02:56

10.01.2004

Found a liking for S.E.N.S music...surprising since it's all instrumental. Oh well, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing here blogging... I'm supposed to be working my ass of right? Seemed to have lost my focus... the next paper's in a measly 4 days and I've done close to nothing that's gonna help me score. I'm beginning to hate myself for being like this all the time.

URGH!

Everything's screwing up for me now too... don't think things could get any worse...
I got real pissed by the chinese singing... considering the fact that I wasn't even around. And that bitch appeared once more. Hate her to shreds. Leave me alone.

^jac
02:31